Helen Martin’s Blog

I went to the [She Speaks Conference](http://www.shespeaksconference.com/index.htm) because I wanted to learn more about writing, speaking, and women’s ministry leadership. I scheduled the appointments for fifteen-minute “pitch meetings” to find out what it was like to be in one.

I sat there in the hall waiting for my first appointment and I kept thinking that when it was over, at least I would know what was behind that door. I hadn’t been able to finish my book proposal, but I had a solid three-minute pitch, and I was ready to answer most questions he could ask me.
How did it go? Well, Winnie the Pooh said it best: “You find sometimes that a Thing which seemed very Thingish inside you is quite different when it gets out into the open and has other people looking at it.”

It’s not like the agent I met with was the first person to hear my pitch. But he might have been the first one to hear it who didn’t love me. Some women at the [She Speaks Conference](http://www.shespeaksconference.com/index.htm) had heard parts of it. The conference was just saturated with love, affirmation, and support. Even women who were strangers to me were my sisters, and they listened to my book idea with generous and encouraging ears. As did my family members before them.
This guy was a little different. He was as nice as he could be. Really. But I was under-prepared, and regardless of how delightful I was, he was buying nothing I was selling. Again, it wasn’t his fault. He was nice. Really.

It’s clear to me there was a great big reason for me to go through this. My pride. My biggest fear was that I would look like an idiot. My biggest fear kinda came true. But so what? I’m still here, and God still loves me. And as for the pride, that’s pretty much the original sin anyway, thoroughly addressed at the cross by my Savior.

My later appointments went much better, as one might expect.