Helen Martin’s Blog

If you look at Christianity as Stepford Faith, (and I don’t know your outlook on such things) then what I am about to say will seem creepy. But here goes: Ken and I want more and more of our “selves” to die and more of Christ to live in and through us. This doesn’t make us into robots, or two lumps of oatmeal in the same bowl. Because this faith is real and true, and He is endlessly Fascinating, Creative and Interesting, we are each left unique and distinct from one another, and yet more and more in harmony with each other.

That is the biggest secret to our happiness. We are one in marriage, and in another sense we’re one in Christ - doubly blessed. But all the time we are each being made more our true selves than we ever imagined possible.

So it probably won’t surprise you that most of the “fences” I referred to that keep our marriage safe are Biblical concepts and precepts that primarily form our attitudes. They have practical applications as well, of course, but they aren’t “rules” in the usual sense of the word.

Oh, where do I begin? How about with the most excellent way? “Love one another.”

(Helen, will that Pulitzer be for here or to go? I never would have thought of loving my spouse!) Yes, but what kind of love?

Love is patient, love is kind, love keeps no record of wrongs, love is not selfish, love isn’t conceited, love covers a multitude of sins, love casts out fear, love is the law (oops, how did that get in there?)

Ken has had to tell me over and over that he would greatly appreciate it if, in response to something annoying he might do, my FIRST thought would be “He loves me.” If I could just get that into my head, I would spare myself and him so much unnecessary whining. Far too often I react in a self-centered manner instead of reminding myself that he’s always on my side; instead of considering what he probably has on his plate that might have interfered with his general perfection.

He does that for me. He ALWAYS gives me the benefit of the doubt. He always says to himself, “Well, maybe she had a hard day” when something I’ve done, or have failed to do, threatens to disappoint him. Like when I blog all afternoon and forget to start dinner, perhaps. (Like THAT ever happens!)

How close am I to living up to the standard of real love? “Helen is patient?” “Helen is kind?” “Helen keeps no record of wrongs?!” Thankfully, I’m learning.

More later. All you have to do is kinda sorta treat me like I’m an authority on a subject and then stand back while I launch. It isn’t always pretty, but I mean well.